Alexandra Burke is working with Stargate tomorrow

That is all.

Remember our review of 'Out Of Control'?

"'Untouchable' should be the 3rd single, with an expensive video set in space."

Just saying...

Amazing lyrics in the Beyoncé song 'Radio' - Update

"You're the only one allowed to hang out in my room with the door closed."

If she was a boy she'd be BOYANCÉ!!!1!!

This whole new album business from Beyoncé is rather ridiculous: a double album, the first disc full of slow songs about breaking up with Beyoncé and how amazing Beyoncé still is, and the second full of quicker songs about how you shouldn't break up with Beyoncé because she is so amazing. And then there's that alter-ego matter (that's her on the right, apparently).

However, it does have one saving grace - one of the quicker songs, 'Radio', is fantastic.

"I think I'm in love with my radio, cos it never lets me down".

It does if you're listening to Radio One love, but let's not quibble. This is the best song she's done since she let the Freemasons rearrange the pieces of 'Green Light'. We know that was only about 18 months ago but it feels more like decades really.

(Other than the dismal 'If I Were A Boy' and the so-so 'Single Ladies', there is also one alright ballad ('Halo') and one more alright uptempo one ('Sweet Dreams'), all of which already elevates the album above B'day in our estimations.)

Also, don't judge this CD by it's cover...

Have you seen the state of this though?

Surely this is not the cover a comeback album? Or a comeback-from-the-first-comeback-last-year? (A second coming, if you will.)

Don't judge a CD by it's cover!

And on to the new Girls Aloud album.

'The Promise'

Not as 'poppers o'clock' as some Girls Aloud songs, is it? It is a bit more 'Duffy o'clock' though, which is clearly the blueprint for a number one song these days. But what does a number one really mean in this day and agezzzzzzzzzz...

'The Loving Kind'

PSB + GA + Xenomania + time and money = a very very very good song. But 'Call The Shots' was a very very very very good song indeed. Hmmm.

'Rolling Back The Rivers In Time'

And so we come to the longest song title in Girls Aloud history. It's all very Abba-esque, i.e. fan-bloody-tastic. The intro is a bit D:ream-esque too. These are good things, by the way. Should be a single.

'Love Is The Key'

The fourth song in a row with the word "the" in the title (ZOMG WHAT'S THE HIDDEN MEANING?!?!?????!!!!ONE!?). At the start you think it sounds a bit like' Waiting', then you think it sounds like 'Wild Horses', especially because of that choir at the start, and then you remember it's a new Girls Aloud fucking song so stop comparing it to their old ones and saying they've lost their spark and are treading water because this is an album by a girlband who've found their footing now and have realised they don't have to release rave anthems just to keep afloat but can now delve into slightly deeper topics and release songs below 128bpm that are about love and relationships and living in Suffolk.

We're bored now. The album is brilliant. 'Untouchable' should be the 3rd single, with an expensive video set in space. 

[Insert pun about new Saturdays album here]

So, that Saturdays album. Here’s what we thought (of the songs worth mentioning).

‘If This Is Love’ This was only really alright, looking back on it now, wasn’t it.

‘Up’ Christ knows what they thought they were doing when they pissed all over this to put it on the album, but the version you see in the video/hear on the single/hear in your head is rather great.

‘Keep Her’ If this album is going in chronological order of singles then we will be very happy. Although then again it means about a hundred singles from them. Well, twelve. But that means ten more 25 pence videos.

‘Issues’ The acoustic version they did on some TV programme about 6 years ago: 8/10. This (apparently, rooted in 1995 pop production) version: 4/10.

‘Work’ AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING PUT YOUR BOOTS ON BABY LET’S GO AMAZING.

‘Set Me Off’ God knows why they gave this away, as it’s the fifth best song here.

And that’s it.

We do think that ‘Crashing Down’ should’ve been on the album. Preferably in place of that ‘Up’ remix.

NB Do you think they’re all looking to the right on the album cover because they’ve just cottoned on to some lights they should be chasing?*

* “Dear Bop Pop, I would like my jokes back, thank you, Al The Pub Landlord.”